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Hilary G - An Artists Journal's avatar

Hi Mary - a lovely post. Like Gina, I think 6 paintings in 6 weeks is phenomenal (it takes me months sometimes) and I love the latest works on paper which I have been following over on Instagram. I have been a bit quiet over there, maybe not acknowledging your current challenges as much as I should have. But it can be all so frenetic in IG land whereas here feels a bit more measured. So I can take a moment to tell you that I can hear you and see you as you navigate this journey.

Over the last year or so I have come to realise through friends and business contacts that this is a truth - that cancer is a journey, though clearly not one we choose to take. I have a friend in Devon who is on this journey now (cancer treatments finished and first year check approaching) and I have walked beside her for some of this path. I’ve learnt a lot - not the mechanical stuff, I could not even tell you what type of cancer she has/had (I know there are different classifications), but the personal stuff. And i t has brought us closer in a way neither of us could ever have possibly imagined when we first met about 20 years ago.

One very important thing I have learnt is the power of words. And not always in a good way. But I don’t mean that in a destructive context but more about how being careful about how words can resonate is so important. People can and will say things that they select in a well meaning but unconsidered way. We have a rich language but we also have language rules and conventions which can be societally imposed which just trip off the tongue. And when someone is on a cancer journey those niceties are not always appropriate.

So, don’t feel restrained by this yourself. Your resilience from over here in MK seems amazing, but if it feels like fucking shit then don’t hold back from saying so. Because, and let’s speak the truth here, it is fucking shit. No one deserves cancer and to have their plans knocked askew. And what I have learnt with T, my Devon friend, is that if those niceties don’t feel right or appropriate then say so. Because that was how we navigated and learned together a more constructive way to connect.

I hold you high as one of those generous people who gave me such encouragement when I veered away from textiles into a more fine art based practice (that lovely call we had a few years ago) and I am the proud owner of one of your palm trees. So, here is to resilience and finding a new way through adversity. We are with you as you must navigate this path.

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Sally Burke's avatar

Hello Mary, I realise that I made the decision to follow you on Substack, but I did not know until today that you are the same person I have followed for ages on IG (Artist in the Shed) It was the Palm Tree that did it. What a rotten diagnosis to be given, I hope that you are managing the treatment ok, it can be quite debilitating I know, having had two friends endure the same process. But they are fine now which I am sure you will be in time. Sending you loving and healing thoughts and it is lovely to see that you are still holding the paint brushes. 💐

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